


I Loved Him and I lost Him.

by AnEnemyOfMyEnemy



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:13:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16206716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnEnemyOfMyEnemy/pseuds/AnEnemyOfMyEnemy
Summary: You loved him but you kept silent. He was a guild-mate a friend. But you wanted more. With the betrayal of those you trust creates a rift between you and Brynjolf. When you finally get him back you are ripped away from him.





	I Loved Him and I lost Him.

You and Brynjolf have been friends for as long as you could remember. You both were close, as close as can be without being in a romantic relationship. You had come to the thieves a small, scrawny orphan, half dead from a harsh life on the street. They took you in, turned into a strong and independent women who knew how to defend herself and was skilled at her job. You have always been the closest with Brynjolf, both of you growing up in the guild. You two lived up to the saying ‘thick as thieves’. You saw a side of him that he never really showed to anyone, and in turn you opened yourself to him, there were no secrets between the two of you, well besides the fact that you loved him more than the love that friendship or siblingship holds. And yet you knew he only thought of you as a sister, regardless that the bond you shared was so deep it felt like you were the same person. You didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize what the two of you had. You didn’t think you would beabled to handle the change not even to grant you own selfish feelings. You couldn’t risk losing him, you had lost so much already, the guild and him are the only things you had. The thought of losing the guild or anyone in it saddened you greatly, but you especially couldn't fathom the idea of losing Brynjolf. Soon one of your worst fears came to pass, the murder of the guild leader. The betrayal of Karliah was an even harder blow to the guild. You couldn't believe she could do such a thing, she was one of the other people in the guild you were close to and she had killed your ‘father’. You spent weeks locked in your house, refusing to leave. Brynjolf had forced his wain in, got you to eat, and finally he was able to drag you out. Adjusting was hard, the guild was left in shambles and you still mourned the loss, everyone did. It took awhile to feel yourself, even longer for the whole guild to recover. Although even with Brynjolf running things the thieves guild never fully got back to they once were, not until she came. You felt it right then, the burning jealousy Brynjolf never brought outsiders in, yet here was an outsider. All the recruits that other members brought in he turned down then suddenly here he comes leading a beautiful women into the Ragged Flagon. You listened from the bar as he gave her a ques, a test she had to pass in order to enter the guild. You glared at the woman's back, silently praying to the gods for her failure and yet only a few hours the women came back, a proud look on her face. You had been in the middle of a conversation with Brynjolf when she approached and interrupted.  
“Here’s what they owed us.” The women spoke, her voice both silky and husky.  
“So. jobs done and you even brought the gold. Best of all you did it clean. I like that. Well done. And it would seem as if I owe you something in return. Here I think you well find these useful.” He gave her some potions. You looked at Brynjolf in shock at how friendly he was with her.   
“What’s next then?” Asked the women.  
“Judging from how you handled those shopkeepers I say you more than simply prove yourself. We need people like you in our outfit.” You couldn’t believe what Brynjolf was saying.  
“If there's gold involved then count me in.” The women replied cokly and you wanted nothing more to run her through right then and there. Or smash that pretty face of hers against the bar.  
“That’s the spirit! Larceny’s in your blood…The tale sign of a practiced thief. I think you’ll do more then just fit in around here.” You couldn't hear anymore so you got up and left the bar, making your way out of the Ragged Flagon with a glare on your face. On you way out you felt eyes on you and saw Vex give you an understanding look, she has always been good at reading people but that didn't make you feel better. How can Brynjolf just trust that women so easily, how can her just let her into the guild like that. You growled under your breath as you walked through the chilly night air of Riften. You didn't understand how could he just let an outsider in after the guild was betrayed by someone we trusted, by one of our own? You wanted to trust Brynjolf’s judgment, you really did but recent events made it hard just to blindly trust others, even Brynjolf. You don’t know how long you were wandering the cold dark streets but a sudden voice broke you out of your thoughts.   
“You okay there lass?” It was Brynjolf. You were going to attempt to smiled but couldn’t find the energy to muster one so you leaned on a railing and looked out onto the water.   
“I am fine just thinking, that’s all…” You felt his hand on your shoulder.   
“Want to talk about it?” You finally found the energy and gave a small smile, he was always so caring. You decided not to say anything you didn’t to burden him.   
“Nah, I’ll be fine.” You reassured him.  
“Alright lass, but if you need to talk I am always here.”  
“Thanks. Brynjolf. It means a lot and I know you’ll always be there for me.” He took his hand off your shoulder and leaned against the railing with you. The two of you stayed in a comfortable silence until you spoke yup. “Hey Brynjolf , remember that time when…” And for the rest of the night the two of you talked and joked around. Retelling embarrassing stories or crazy adventures the two of you had. You had just got done with a laughing fit after a story Brynjolf told about the time you both pranked the rest of the guild.  
“I wish we could stay like this for always.” You said looking into the beginnings of a sunrise.  
“What do you mean lass?” He looked at you with a confused look, and you sighed.  
“Never mind I was just thinking out loud.” You smiled bitterly. “Anyway we should head back, you new friend might be finished with the quest you sent her on right?” You led the way to the thieves guild. You and Brynjolf never really spoke much after that you were busy with quests and he was busy with keeping the now thriving guile in order. On afternoon the newest member of the thieves guild walked in with Karliah in tow. You stood quickly in shock knowing you chair back and drew your weapon.   
“You better have a good reason to walk in with that murder.” Brynjolf growled at the two women. After the women and Karliah explained everything, you were horrified you had believed that Karliah was the one you betrayed you, when the trader was under your nose the whole time. You wanted nothing more than to kill Mercer Frey, so you tagged along on the mission to hunt him down, sadly you were not the one to end Mercer Frey’s pathetic life it was that women, that Dragonborn. You, Brynjolf, and that women became Nightingales and stopped Mercer Frey, you should have been happy, or at least relive but you weren’t. Ever since that incident with Mercer Frey and the skeleton key Brynjolf hasn’t been talking to you. Whenever you approached him he would just apologize, saying he was busy or had something to do. You tried not to let it bother you, there was this distance between you and Brynjolf that wasn’t there before and you didn’t know how to close it. As the days passed you came to the thieves guild less and less you even stopped staying in Riften as much as you could. You made your coin otherways by doing quest from people and collecting bounties. You heard that Brynjolf gave leadership to that woman, it bothered you a little but not as much as before, you weren’t really apart of the guild anymore, and the Dragonborn has more than proved herself, she deserved it. It was one of the rare occasions you were in Riften, you had something to deliver and you were on your way to Mistveil Keep when you bumped into Brynjolf, literally.

You were about to apologize when you voice caught in your throat, it was the first time you has seen him in half a year. You couldn’t find any words, the feelings you thought has faded, you had just sealed them away, they now hit you with more force than ever, you felt like you were slowly being suffocated.  
“Hello lass, it’s been a long time hasn’t it?” He greeted you.  
“Indeed it has.” The two of you stood there awkwardly for a moment not knowing what to say.  
“I have important business to attend to now so I will be leaving.” You hastily walked away before he could stop you. After you completed your delivery you wanted nothing more the to get out of Riften as soon as possible, however lady luck wasn’t on your side.  
“ Hey Lass…” Came Brynjolf’s as soon as you left Mistveil Keep, he had waited outside for you. He was always calling you lass, no he called every girl lass except Vex, Sapphire, and Tonilia. You wondered if he even remembered your name, if so he never bothered to use it. You walked by him not even bothering to glance his was, you couldn’t deal with this right now.  
“Lass.” He said again, following you, and you still ignored him. You picked up your speed as you made your way to the main gates.  
“(Y/N)” He raised his voice in frustration, grabbing your wrist to stop you.  
You sup around to face him.   
“What?” You asked coldly.  
“Where were you?” He asks, the hurt evident in his voice “The whole guild was looking for you but we couldn’t track you. We all were worried. What if something bad happened to you, we wouldn’t have know. The guild is your family you can’t just disappear without warning” You looked down.  
“I am fine I just became busy that’s all.” You knew that Brynjolf saw though your bluf. He could always read you so easily..  
“It’s not good to bottle up your feelings like this, but if you don’t want to talk about it then it’s fine just know that if you ever need to talk I am here like always.” He smiled and you almost lost you grip on your emotions, but stopped yourself from crying. You let Brynjolf pull you back to The Ragged Flagon. As soon as you stepped through the door the whole guild welcomed you, Vex even hugged you. They were all so happy that you were back, it was a nice feeling, but you know that you won’t be able to leave again, it won't just be the guild stopping you but yourself as well. You only where back for about a week and you were already being smothered, you couldn't leave The Ragged Flagon without being followed, and every job you got you had to take a partner. You knew that they were only looking out for you, making sure you didn’t feel alone and you didn't just leave. It was getting on your nerves, Vex and Brynjolf where the worse though. You had just a job, it seem that a khajiit had stolen something from Black-Briar family, and you were sent to retrieve it. It seems that this khajiit has retreated to a hideout in a cave not far from here, of course someone had to escort you on this job, this time it was Brynjolf. You both make it to the cave, it seems pretty empty so far some loot lying around nothing much. Just as the two of you walk into the last cavern in the cave, you stop Brynjolf from walking and point up ahead. There is the khajiit sitting by a fire and humming to himself. The two of you sneak up to where the khajiit sat. Your initial plan was to intimidate him into giving the item back, if that didn't work you could always blackmail him, paying him off was another option. It was easy to sneak up to the khajiit, he had his back to the entrance allowing the both of you to remain unnoticed.   
“Hey khajiit, I think you have something that doesn't belong to you.” The khajiit jumped at your sudden voice and whipped around to face you.  
“Aye, I suggest you hand it over to us Lad.” Brynjolf spoke. The next moments happened in a flash. The khajiit had drawn a weapon and charged at Brynjolf, seeing this you threw yourself in front of Brynjolf, drawing a weapon you sliced the khajiit’s neak as he stabbed you instead of Brynjolf. The khajiit immediately sunk to the ground bleeding out and gasping before dying. You dropped your weapon to clutch the wound at you gut, blood quickly soaking through your thieves guild armor and coating your hand. You looked up at Brynjolf, who looked horrified, as you got dizzy. Brynjolf caught you as you started to fall slowly sinking into the ground with you in his arms.  
“Brynjolf.” You whispered in a voice laced with pain, a trail of blood coming from your mouth.  
“Shh, don’t talk Lass.” His whispered, you reached a bloodied hand to cup his cheek.   
“Brynjolf, I need..I need to tell you something before.. before I-” you started but was cut off.  
“No. Don’t think like that lass. You’re going to be fine.” He grasped your hand on his cheek looking into your dimming (Y/C) eyes.  
“We both know that isn’t true.” You whispered weakly.  
“(Y/N)” He whispered your name, his eyes glassy with emotion.  
“I- I need to tell you something. Something important.” You coughed, more blood coming from your mouth. “I-” Tears slowly escaped your eyes. “I’m sorry.” You apologized you voice thick with pain.  
“Shh. It’s okay.” He whispered and you gave a small sad smile.  
“Brynjolf I... I am in love with you.” You smiled widened and the tears came faster, it was like a great weight was lifted of you. You could barely see Brynjolf but you could tell he was shocked, his hand was no longer cupping yours that was still on his cheek. You could feel a few tears escaped from his eyes, the cold barely felt as they dripped down your hand. Your vision got worse, darkness was tugging at the edges, you lost strength and your arm with limp. This seemed to snap Brynjolf out of shock as his grabbed your hand from mid air before it fell.  
“(Y/N) please don’t leave me. Not again.” His voice was thick with tears.  
“I’m sorry” Your voice was barely above a whisper, you could no longer feel your body, your vision was blurry, you knew your time was drawing near, you were hanging by a thread and where fading fast. You barely felt when Brynjolf softly pressed his lips to yours. You gave another weak smile when he pulled away. And then you were gone, slipping into the embrace of darkness. Brynjolf held your body close, crying into your (H/C) hair. He kissed your lips that were quickly losing the warmth you body had before. He was there for a good couple hours, his eyes had long dried unable to cry anymore but the sadness still ate away at him. Finally he moved, his body ached. He closed your dead (E/C), unseeing eyes and picked you your cold stiff body. He then made his way back to the Thieves Guild, he wanted to give you a proper burial, you deserve much more than to be left in a grungy dank cave. He got weird looks as he walked through the city caring your body, but no one dared to approach him let alone say anything. When Brynjolf entered the thieves guild with your body, it took a moment for the guile to realized what had happened. Vex ran to you body, hands running over your face, whispering no, over and over again before she finally broke down and cried. Sapphire had sat against a wall in shock, tears escaped her void eyes as she stared at your dead body. Rune had covered his mouth with the back of his hand, looking like he might be sick. Delvin had his head down, his reactions were unreadable. Vipir had walked in after Brynjolf had set you on the bar table, he had dropped what he was holding his mouth open is shock. That night they had held a service for you, deciding to burn your body, the Thieves guild where to only ones who came, they were your only family. Soon the fire faded and you were nothing but ash on the wind. The Dragonborn left first not saying anything. Vex and Sapphire left next, hugging each other in comfort and trying no to cry again. Then Viper chose to leave next and Rune followed soon after. Delvin glanced at Brynjolf before he left. Karliah approached Brynjolf before she left. She put a hand on his shoulder in comfort.  
“(Y/N) was in love with you you know.” She said softly.  
“I know...” Brynjolf looked down. Karliah pulled something out from her pocket, it was Amulet of Articulation.  
“This belonged to (Y/N) I think...I think you ought to have it” She placed it in his hand and gave him a sad look before walking away, leaving him completely alone. He looked down at the amulet, it definitely was your style. As he placed it around his neck he felt as if someone had wrapped their arms around his shoulders and was hugging him from behind, your sent enveloped him.  
“Do not grieve so, for we will meet again.” He voice echoed in his ear. “ I want you to live a long and happy life until then. Know I will always be here watching over you.” He tired to grip the hand he felt on his shoulder but grasped nothing. “I will be here,” He felt the ghostly hand moved to his heart. “And I will await until you come to my side”. Brynjolf gave a smile as tears streamed down his face. He grasped tighter onto your invisible hand and closed his eyes, he could swear he felt the heat of your body pressed against his The pressure was all too soon gone, and he opened to see a beautiful sunrise, looking into the vast color ahead he saw you smiled brightly before disappearing. He stayed there, watching the sunrise in its silent beauty. It reminded him of you; silent and beautiful yet fleeting, but others will be sure to see your beauty. He walked back to the Ragged Flagon feeling much more at peace than before.   
He couldn’t wait to see you again, but he would have to wait. Until death came for him he will hold onto your memory and the love you shared for each other. He would live on for the both of you.   
“Until we meet again, my love.” He whispered., knowing you would hear it, and you did. The two of you were connected, bounded together now and forever by your silent vow, by the love you held for each other, and neither of you would ever let go.


End file.
